Kids don't come with a manual

by Unknown - 13:02

Becoming a parent is hard work. Kids don't come with a manual and as a parent we come with no training only drawing upon our own experiences. My husband and my parenting styles differ and we do disagree on several points with our children, although our goal is the same our path to achieve it varies.

Parenting becomes a balancing act and I often wonder if we are doing the best. I don't think I am alone and think that most parents at some point feel like 'a bad parent' or the 'worst parent in the world'. I do sometimes think we shout too much as parents, and worry about the judgement from others particularly when we are out and about.

Most parents will know the situation all too well, everything can be going perfectly fine and then you turn your back for a split second and this happens

The pressure we feel as parents to be able to work and look after the children is also immense. Financial needs means we often work longer hours and as a result the 'electronic babysitter' appears, just so we can finish off this last little bit, I hate doing this but feel I have no other choice.

We worry about everything, are they watching too much TV?

Are they not getting enough exercise?

How do I handle the 'Can I have a horse/dog/cat/plane/boat/shoes ?' question without it turning into a full melt down?

Are they eating enough? Eating too much? Eating the right things or the wrong things?

Then comes the next stages in their development. Which you no doubt compare to all your friends babies. You start to feel inadequate because baby A walked at 9 months, baby B at 10, and yours hasn't started crawling yet. Then comes potty training, baby A took 1 day, baby B took 2 weeks and yours just wants to stand in it

Don't even get me started on sleep training. Baby A slept though from 2 weeks, and Baby B slept through at 6 months and yours at 4 years old is still getting up several times and won't fall asleep until 10pm. You get offered the usual advise and just nod your head in a sleep deprived state, before the whole stressful night time routine comes around all too quick

As children become older they start to develop the selective deafness, 'Don't jump in that puddle' which they promptly ignore and jump in. The whole atmosphere changes and often tantrums erupt or tempers fray. How do you stop this? Keep children calm, open to listen and diffuse a toddler tantrum?

Should you reward the good behaviour and punish the bad? Let children help with what you are doing? Ignore the bad behaviour and reinforce the good? There are so many options available as parents.

I don't think any parent wants their children to loose that spark of imagination and for them to grow up too quickly, but likewise we want them to be well behaved and well mannered. It is this fine balancing act I think most parents struggle with.

How then can we ensure we remain good parents whilst looking after our little Prince and Princess?

Kids don't come with a manual that is for certain but there are certainly many out there to help. One which seems to understand all of the above and a lot more is the rather cleverly named 'Kids Don't come with a manual' by Carole and Nadim Saad.

Kids don't come with a manual takes a fresh approach to parenting, giving an eye opening account of a particular situation from a child's perspective. Each situation is then followed by the point of view from two parents, one with an empathetic parenting style and the other more strict. Finally this is followed by a real life example.

This helpful guide gives us parents options without being told what to do. Real life examples help to illustrate the point and the different parenting perspectives allows you to see things clearly from another point of view. In most instances there are a number of different options so you can choose what is most suitable for you and your parenting style. The key things I like are the age appropriateness of the solutions and the time needed to solve the situation.

Kids don't come with a manual is a helpful book which you can dip in and out of to find a solution to a particular problem. Kids don't come with a manual has a common goal with my parenting aims and that is to have happy, healthy and well behaved children